Unlocking Self-Esteem: Therapy for Millennials and Gen X

By Lisa Greci, MSW,RSW

Somewhere between chasing career goals, caring for others, and keeping up with the pace of life, many people start to lose touch with their sense of worth. For Millennials and Gen Xers especially, self-esteem can take a quiet hit — not from one big event, but from the accumulation of small pressures and constant comparison.

If you’ve ever felt like your confidence has faded or that you’re living on autopilot, you’re not alone. Therapy offers space to pause, reflect, and reconnect with the parts of yourself that feel most authentic and whole.

What Self-Esteem Really Means

At its core, self-esteem is how we view and value ourselves. It shapes the way we think, feel, and interact with the world. When it’s healthy, we feel capable, grounded, and resilient. When it’s low, self-doubt and anxiety can take over — leaving us feeling “not enough.”

For Millennials and Gen Xers, there’s an added layer: we’ve lived through major cultural and technological shifts. The world we grew up in looks very different from the one we’re navigating now, and that can stir up feelings of uncertainty or inadequacy.

The Social Media Effect

Social media has a big influence on how we see ourselves — often without us realizing it. It’s so easy to fall into what I like to call the *highlight reel trap*: we see everyone else’s best moments, but not the full story.

The comparison spiral:** “Everyone else seems to be doing better than me.”

The validation loop:** Measuring our worth by likes, comments, or followers.

Taking a step back and recognizing these patterns is the first step toward rebuilding a more grounded sense of self.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy offers a safe space to unpack the beliefs and experiences that have shaped your self-esteem. It’s not about “fixing” you — it’s about helping you reconnect with your authentic self.

A few approaches that can be especially helpful include:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Helps you notice and challenge self-critical thought patterns.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Encourages you to accept your emotions while focusing on what truly matters to you.

Group Therapy: Provides connection and validation by hearing from others who “get it.”

Finding the right therapeutic fit can make all the difference — it’s about what feels right for you.

Small Steps Toward Stronger Self-Esteem

Therapy is part of the process, but there are also simple, everyday practices that support your growth:

• Start your day with kindness — even something small like “I’m doing my best today.”

• Set realistic goals. Break big tasks into smaller steps and celebrate each one.

• Be gentle with yourself. Everyone makes mistakes — it’s part of being human.

• Take breaks from social media. Protect your peace by disconnecting when you need to.

Reaching Out for Support

There’s no shame in seeking help — in fact, it’s one of the strongest things you can do. A therapist can help you understand your patterns, build self-awareness, and support you in rediscovering your confidence.

When choosing a therapist, consider:

* What kind of approach feels right to you?

* Do you feel comfortable opening up with this person?

* Do they specialize in the areas you want to work on?

Therapy works best when you feel safe, seen, and understood.

You’re Not Alone in This

Building self-esteem takes time. It’s not a straight line — there will be ups and downs — but every small shift matters.

* Celebrate your progress, even the subtle ones.

* Write down what’s going well.

* Reflect on how far you’ve come.

Mindfulness can also be a powerful tool: pausing to breathe, noticing your thoughts without judgment, or simply appreciating the present moment.

Final Thoughts

Self-esteem isn’t something we find; it’s something we build, one moment at a time. Therapy can be a supportive part of that journey — helping you reconnect with your worth, your strengths, and your sense of self.

You deserve to feel grounded in who you are — not just the version the world expects you to be.

Greci Counselling